We all know that sleep is crucial for a baby’s growth, development, and overall health. As a new parent, you want nothing more than for your little one to get the rest they need—and maybe even snag a little sleep yourself.
But sometimes, even when your baby is clearly tired, they just won’t close their eyes. It can be frustrating (and honestly, a little baffling). You’re doing everything right, so why does your baby seem determined to stay awake?
Here’s the good news: most of the time, fighting sleep is perfectly normal. Babies have very different sleep patterns compared to adults, and even small things—like a change in routine or a big developmental leap—can throw off their ability to settle down.
In this article, we’ll break down why babies fight sleep, what’s happening behind the scenes, and what you can do to help them (and yourself) get some much-needed rest.
No matter how tired or overwhelmed you feel right now, you’re not alone—and there are real, gentle solutions that can make a difference.
Understanding Baby Sleep Patterns
Before we dive into why babies fight sleep, it may help to understand how different their sleep cycles are compared to ours.
Newborns and young infants spend much more time in REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, which is a lighter, more active sleep stage. You might notice your baby twitching, smiling, grimacing, or even making little noises during sleep. To a tired parent, it can easily look like they’re awake—but chances are, they’re still snoozing.
Babies also have much shorter sleep cycles than adults. While an adult’s sleep cycle lasts about 90 minutes, a baby’s sleep cycle is only around 40 minutes. This means they naturally wake more often throughout the night—and during naps—before (hopefully) settling back into sleep.
If you hear a little fussing or stirring, it doesn’t always mean your baby is fully awake or needs immediate attention. Sometimes, giving them a moment to see if they can self-soothe can help them connect their sleep cycles without needing your help.
Knowing these patterns can help you feel less worried about every little sound—and more confident in your baby’s growing sleep skills.
Why Do Babies Fight Sleep?
As adults, the idea of someone making us take a nap sounds like a dream come true. But for babies and toddlers, resisting sleep is often part of the process—even when they’re clearly tired.
While it might seem confusing (and exhausting) from a parent’s perspective, there are actually a lot of understandable reasons why little ones protest bedtime.
Day/Night Confusion
Newborns aren’t born knowing the difference between day and night. In the womb, they often slept when their mothers were active—and it can take a few weeks after birth for them to adjust to the outside world’s schedule.
Until their internal clock matures, it’s very common for a newborn to be wide awake in the middle of the night and sleepy during the day.
Physical Discomfort
Sometimes, it’s something as simple as a wet diaper, being a little too hot or cold, or a hungry tummy. Babies rely on us to meet their basic needs, and if they’re uncomfortable, sleep is usually the first thing that suffers.
Illness
Just like adults, babies find it harder to sleep when they’re feeling under the weather. Whether it’s a stuffy nose, a mild fever, or general discomfort, illness can temporarily disrupt their normal sleep patterns.
Separation Anxiety
Around 6 to 9 months old, babies start to develop a deeper awareness of their surroundings—and that includes realizing when you’re not there. Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage, but it can make it extra tough for little ones to fall asleep or stay asleep.
Not Tired Enough
As babies grow, they need less daytime sleep. Their “wake windows” start to stretch, meaning they can stay awake longer between naps. If you notice your baby fighting sleep, think about how long it’s been since you’ve changed their sleep schedule.
Overtired
Believe it or not, babies can get too tired, which makes it even harder for them to settle down. An overtired baby may seem wired, fussy, or clingy, and once they miss the ideal sleep window, it can become a vicious cycle of exhaustion.
Some signs that your baby is overtired include lots of yawning, rubbing their eyes, arching their back, or becoming very cranky.
Overstimulated
The world is a fascinating place when you’re brand-new. Too much excitement (bright lights, loud noises, lots of new people) can overwhelm a baby’s sensitive system and make it harder for them to calm down enough to sleep.
Growth Spurt
If your baby seems unusually restless and hungry, they might be going through a growth spurt. Babies often need extra nutrition and comfort during these times, which can temporarily throw off their sleep schedule.
How Long Should a Baby Stay Awake?
One of the biggest factors in helping your baby sleep better is knowing your baby’s “wake windows”—the ideal amount of time your baby can comfortably stay awake between naps or bedtime.
When babies stay awake too long, they can quickly become overtired, making it even harder for them to settle down and fall asleep. But if they aren’t awake long enough, they may not be tired enough to sleep soundly.
Wake windows change quickly as your baby grows, so it’s important to adjust your schedule based on their age and development. Here’s a quick guide:
Keep in mind that every baby is different. Some babies may need slightly shorter or longer wake windows depending on their individual needs, temperament, or developmental milestones.
If your baby consistently struggles to fall asleep or seems wide awake at bedtime, it may be a sign that it’s time to tweak their wake window. A little adjustment can make a big difference!
How To Get Your Baby To Sleep
Understanding why your baby fights sleep is important—but knowing what to do about it is the real game-changer. Whether you’re hoping to start sleep training or just looking for ways to make bedtime less of a battle, here are a few trusted strategies to get your baby to stop fighting sleep.
1. Stick To a Sleep Schedule
Babies thrive on predictability. Sticking to consistent wake-up times, nap times, and bedtimes helps regulate your baby’s internal clock. If it’s consistently taking longer than 30 minutes for your baby to fall asleep, it might be time to adjust their schedule. As your baby grows, their wake windows naturally lengthen, so staying flexible while maintaining a general routine is key.
2. Limit Stimulating Activities Before Bedtime
Try to keep things calm in the hour leading up to bedtime. Bright lights, loud toys, screen time, and active play can all make it harder for your baby to wind down. Quiet, low-stimulation activities like cuddling, singing, or reading can help your baby shift gears into sleep mode.
3. Watch for Sleepy Cues
Instead of waiting until your baby is fussy or crying, watch for early signs that they’re getting tired—like rubbing their eyes, zoning out, yawning, or becoming less active. Catching these signals early can help you get your baby to sleep before they become overtired and harder to settle.
4. Create a Calming Bedtime Routine
A predictable, soothing bedtime routine helps signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down. This doesn’t have to be complicated—something simple like bathtime, a book, a lullaby, and then bed can work beautifully. The important thing is to do the same activities in the same order every night so your baby knows what to expect.
5. Create a Soothing Sleep Environment
Your baby’s sleep environment can make a big difference. Keep the room cool, dark, and quiet (or use a white noise machine to block out background noise). A comfortable sleep space that feels safe and cozy makes it much easier for your baby to drift off and stay asleep.
Rest Easy With Family Tree
If your baby is fighting sleep, you’re not doing anything wrong—and you’re definitely not alone. Sleep struggles are incredibly common during a child’s first year (and beyond). Understanding why your little one resists rest is the first step toward helping the whole family get better sleep.
At Family Tree Primary Care, we’re not just doctors—we’re parents too. We know firsthand how overwhelming it can feel when your baby won’t settle down, and we’re here to support you through every stage of your child’s growth and development.
Whether you need advice about sleep schedules, managing common illnesses, or simply want a doctor who understands what real life with kids looks like, our team is just a call or text away. We make it easy for busy parents to get personalized, compassionate care without the hassle.
Sign up today and see how the Pediatric Direct Primary Care model can work for you!
